Becoming a Father: The Realisation of No Separation

Becoming a father offered a deeper confirmation that there is no separation, only love and unity. In the quiet moments of new life, the teachings of non-duality became a lived and embodied experience.

Why does nobody tell you?

I have just become a father in this world. At the point of writing this piece, my daughter is six days old and I have a few hours to myself before the sun rises while my daughter and partner sleep. The change in me is profound. Ultimately, the undeniable realisation of no separation has cascaded throughout my being, my mind, senses and emotions.

Let’s go back a little. I have been lucky in my teachings, journey and developing a deeper understanding over the years. Privileged to work with some wonderful mentors and teachers over the years. I have good understanding of how I think our world works and how we interact within it. As with all teachings and philosophies, it’s one thing to know it intellectually and another to feel it, embody it and ultimately live within that belief.

When I first found out my partner was pregnant, the realisation washed over me time and time again... I am going to be a Dad! On our travels around Australia only months earlier, we had talked at great length about creating our own family. The idea filled us with love and a deeper sense of meaning. So beautiful, we had even chosen a name for our daughter who was to arrive first and our son who was to follow a couple of years later.

“Like with most changes and deeper levels of understanding in life, it didn’t happen with a single or profound euphony, it arrived in waves of realisation, which I noticed manifesting in my thoughts and actions.”

Making things happen

Suddenly I had a drive to work, to provide and build stability for us. It wasn’t just me anymore, I needed financial security, a home, a place of safety both in the physical world as well as the digital and financial worlds. I needed to protect my family from anything or anyone out there who would potentially stop us from living the life we wanted.

I had a deepening love for my partner, I was aware of this over the months and when I was away working as her belly was growing. Our daughter was being created inside her. I had never even thought of it before, but a funny statement that made me smile as well as understand was, “She is making eyeballs from scratch!”. She was literally making another human from the energy, DNA and cells within herself. I had never even stopped to think of this before.

I felt my heart expand and worked tirelessly to build a space for us ready for when our daughter arrived. I was told by many people that the first years go so quickly, be present. Not just physically but also mentally and emotionally.

I spent a long time ticking boxes from a never-ending to-do list. As the months passed, the list became shorter and shorter. By the time my partner was eight months pregnant, we were in our home and working together to make everything perfect. Looking back, this drive to protect and provide was something carnal; it came from within. It was my job, purpose and calling to hold a safe space for our family.

Witnessing a new life appear

No one could have prepared me for the birth. It was a difficult and challenging experience (maybe in another post I will tell that story), but when I was able to catch my daughter as she entered this world and pass her to my partner, I was overwhelmed with a love and connection like never before, a love I didn’t know was even possible. My heart expanded into a realm I didn’t know was accessible, a deeper space within the human existence. I didn’t know, and nobody had ever told me!

I was so pleased I had done all the work in preparation for this change because none of it mattered anymore. All I wanted was to be with my partner and daughter, in the space where the three of us could be together. We needed nothing more. The rest of what I thought was important, of what we are all told for all our lives is so important, faded away and became laughable. We had everything we ever needed, unlimited energy, connection, power and love.

I have spent hours just looking at my daughter, the waves of realisation lapping gently over my consciousness. We are all one, there is no separation! We are all created from a space of love, the energy of our family, the frequency of our being and the DNA of our physical world and Mother Nature. The more I sit, the deeper the love and understanding I feel, all brought forward only from the love of the three of us together. Of course, I am tired, no sleep and no idea what we are doing, but we are doing it from a space of love, from carnal instinct, we just know how to do it! It combines with one of the deepest teachings and realisations I could have ever experienced. There is no separation, there is only love, harmony and natural evolution.

When I look at what people put value on, our society holds in high regard, our world and humanity have done to others, it’s laughable what people think it important and fight or die over. We were all born in the same way, from the love of two people. We were all made from scratch within the body of another. We all have this deeper knowledge of connection to our parents and when we become a parents ourselves, we have an understanding of what our parents felt for us. We are part of nature, we are part of each other. There is no separation! Let’s not get caught up with anything else, because it doesn’t matter, nothing in this world for me is more important than this understanding and embodiment.

A deeper way of living

In my observations, the highest form of intelligence never comes from the conscious mind but is always provided by Mother Nature and the natural world. The deepest understanding, which should be at the forefront of every decision, is a simple realisation staring us in the face at the birth of every child.

There is no separation! Love the next generation born from you and understand the struggles of the previous generation you were born from. Understand that everyone you ever meet has had the same experience. We are all connected and have the privilege of living this wonderful human experience on planet Earth. Our home is a place which provides everything we need to live, everything we need to learn, we just know, it’s the nature of who we are. Our home (the earth) is a place which gives freely and always in abundance. We need nothing more than to live in harmony with the world around us, follow natures lead and live with the plant and animal kingdoms. When we look at other people, we are all the same, we are all one. We have an opportunity to live and embody life from this simply yet life changing realisation.